I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
