he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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