Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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