Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
