dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
