Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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