We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
