you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
