I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
