FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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