Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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