Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So many bounce houses so little time
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
