i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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