I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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