Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
