Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
