You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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