so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
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$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
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She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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