So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
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She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
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Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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