she's into porn, im staying here tonight
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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