I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
