Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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