I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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