I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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