one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
