I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
