I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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