How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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