Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
