Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
