Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize