just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
