Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
