Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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