You work out of a Hotel?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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