Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
