You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
