Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
