you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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