i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
my liver is dry heaving
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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