i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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