Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize