U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
