i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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