Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Quick, to the slutcave!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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