ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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