what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
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