That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
