I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize