i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize