I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
