North Korea, Best Korea!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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