try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
