She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
