remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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