yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
