quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
