i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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