smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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